Monday, October 7, 2013

52 Ending another OLD phase of my life

The following month was December, the last month of the wondrous year, which turned out to be the beginning of a new phase of my life. 

As I was trying to wrap up the year by tying loose ends as much as possible before starting another year with higher state of consciousness, especially because of attending 5 Day Silent Retreat in January, I felt it's also happening in the nonphysical level, as if old energy wanted to move out from me so that new energy could flow in.

As a result, the conflicting divorce case started moving and reached an agreement quickly, which once seemed impossible.

I'd also like to credit this for something I stuck to in hope of agreeable divorce, which was to  say the magical words subvocally to my wasband every morning and night,
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you." 

It is by Hoʻoponoponorecommended by a good friend that I should use for anyone I would like to shift consciousness towards.

At first I was only saying the words without meaning them, feeling uncomfortable, but gradually I felt natural and neutral about it, and finally I hardly held any grudges against him.

Before separation, I felt like I was only half alive for being deprived of freedom, abused verbally, and psychologically suppressed. I allowed myself to become a victim and blamed everything on my wasband. At that stage, I was so detached from spiritual practice which used to be the center of my life once, and was in total denial that I created all those with my vibration.

Now I totally understand that there is no point in blaming or questioning, because it's all me. All I can do is to feel, accept, appreciate and just be. Thus everything came smoothly, almost rushing to get settled in the right places. 
On the last business day of the year, I picked up the divorce paper at my lawyer's after work, rushed to the ward office and turned it in. 

Done! I'm finally free! And will be finally receiving grants as a single mother!